A long time ago, according to the local law, if your wife did not provide you with a male heir in a timely fashion, you were allowed to have a second wife.
My grandmother gave birth to their first child, a daughter.
And everyone said “ohh she is beautiful, petite and pale, like a Shanghainese doll.”
And inside they thought “oh, a shame, a daughter.”
When she was pregnant a second time everyone said “ahhh congratulations, a son for sure.”
And my mother was born.
And everyone said “oh, she is strong and bold, like the Hakka women of long ago.”
And everyone thought “ohh, she is not a good wife, only daughters, who will marry and move away.”
And my grandmother felt bad and her sad feeling flowed into her mother’s milk.
My mum was often dressed as a boy, and grew to be very boyish.
She was rebellious and would climb trees, come home with scraped knees and her hair was unruly and curly.
She was nothing like her small, doll sister. Still though, it was not enough.
One more time then? My grandmother became pregnant a third time.
And gave us Aunty Li.
No one said anything, and no one dressed her up as a boy, or thought it might be enough.
So my grandfather found himself a second wife.
And the second wife came to live in the house with the first wife and the children.
Sai Ma
(little mother) as she was then called, became pregnant…
And gave birth to Aunty Yue.
And no one said anything.
So there is my grandfather, 4 daughters! All beautiful, but still daughters. No son to inherit the name and no son to take care of the family, as all the daughters would eventually marry and leave.
And both of the Mas were worried.
Sai Ma became pregnant one more time.
Finally, a son,
But he does not really look like Grandfather, you know?
Strange that. Still, no one says anything.
