holidaying at the tv motel

Welcome to the tv Motel, there’s always room for one more, don’t mind that No Vacancy sign, its just nailed right onto that door and no we don’t take it down, we just like it that way you’ll get used to us here, we’re how do you say? Quaint, a little queer, odd, a bit bent, but I think you’ll fit in and I think that you’ll find that rent… is agreeable, terms easy to meet, your neighbours quite quiet, they’ve been dead for a week. So this will be your room, it faces the shore, well it did until they renovated, now you’re facing a wall, but oh well you can dream you seem the imaginative kind, and we’ll gladly assist in bending your mind… available at reception, very modestly priced, we’ll take whatever you’ve got and measure it twice, just to be sure, but you can rest easy my fine feathered friend because we’re a quality outfit, ahead of the trend. The office is never open so you’ll have to knock twice and if that doesn’t work just come around to the back, look out for the rats and those bulging big sacks, I keep telling my wife to look under the beds but she’s really stopped listening since I cut off her head. Women these days they’re so hard to understand, but you look just like one of those old fashioned girls, done up all pretty with diamonds and pearls, a brooch would look perfect, with its long shiny pin embedded quite deeply, somewhere within, so it doesn’t fall out, so you keep it quite safe, but these cheap cut glass trinkets won’t sparkle next to your radiant face, there’s something so sweet; an innocent grace that makes me just want to hide you forever from the horrors and harm of this nasty, dark place.